AM I MENTALLY ILL i feel like it :( I HUG MY TEDDY BEAR AT NIGHT wishing it was "HER" im 15 shes 35 :(?

First of all you have several issues to address. 1. Dealing with the abuse problem is your number one issue. That is something you need to open up to. 2. This women you obsess over needs to be addressed too! You are too young to be this stressed. Being 15 and a girl is hard enough without making things worse. Your fantasy about her is way over the top. What makes you think she wants to be your mama anyway? She may be a ual predator, waiting for the right moment to use you. You are in a fragile state of mind as it is. You have a long way to go in life, don't let it stall before you even get out of the gate. Killing yourself should never even be on the table. I know you don't see it now but someday you will be glad you didn't kill yourself. When you find the right person in your life (AND YOU WILL) then you will see how wonderful life can be. When you graduate from high school! College, Career, Marriage, Children, Grand kids, Sweetie the list is endless! Just think if you were to kill yourself because your having a bad day! What you would miss the next day! Life is short enough! It is easy to die, but hard to live. Just learn to believe in yourself and you will be like the rest of us in time. "Living one day at a time"!